A reader had a question about how to deal with the frustrations of dating. She wanted to know how to find a great guy who is not needy and expecting her to do all the emotional and financial work.
She also wanted to know how to find a man who is strong, professional, and not looking for a needy woman (which she is the complete opposite of). She’s tried online dating but that doesn’t work and she wants a different kind of man but keeps attracting the same kind as the one she dumped.
This lady has several things going on in her head and her emotions are very high. I can understand her dilemma and hopefully I can offer some insight to at least give her hope and peace.
I want to start with this caveat. Everybody is looking for love and looking for relief from the loneliness they feel. It is universal and deeply heartfelt. As humans we can’t get around this because we are all born with a hole in our soul that yearns to be filled with love.
Having said that, I want to encourage this woman to take a deep breath and really think about what she wants. She might use the time after her child is asleep to list all the good things she wants out of life. She will benefit from imagining her desires by closing her eyes and seeing those good things happening to her. This visualization is key to getting what you want out of life.
If she wants a strong, professional man she should imagine herself with that kind of man. Sometimes we focus so much on what we don’t want we end up attracting those things into our lives, over and over again. She mentioned that she keeps running into and attracting the same kind of man.
The next step is to look into her own life and heart and see if she is the kind of person she wants to attract. We are like mirrors and magnets. We see in others what we see in ourselves and we attract to ourselves, just like a magnet, the kind of people we really are on the inside.
In part 2 we will look at what else might be keeping her from attracting a great guy.
